People have been emailing me and asking how am I doing. I am doing okay but I have been better. I do need to write more and I always plan too but then get distracted by my latest obsession.  That is playing Clash of Clans.

More about writing about me. I rarely do that. It is rare any article is about me but I always get people leaving comments, usually hateful ones claiming I’m begging or some other nonsense. I really shouldn’t even acknowledge them as they are trolls for the most part. I probably should start begging and add a GoFundme page. I’ve thought about it for years.

The articles are generally full of me because I prefer to write about my own personal experiences. My Cebu Experience. I wish I could still write on that website but Google killed it.

How Am I Doing?

I am not doing great but I’m mostly happy or at least content. After living on a pension for about 15 years, it’s just not

Child Playing on a Fence

Child playing Downtown Cebu City

enough. Thus, I should work on websites more. I am not feeling well mentally or physically. I need to be taking antidepressants but the ones that work for me are no longer available in the Philippines and if you just stop taking them, withdrawal from them is terrible and long lasting. I stopped them over a year ago. I forget just how long it has been. For six months they caused sensations in my head. They and I call them brain zaps. I tried to find something else and asked the doctor but he referred me to another doctor and I really can’t afford another doctor. But, maybe I should go.

Prescription Drugs Sometimes Not Available in the Philippines

I can get Effexor but I have to order it from a Canadian pharmacy and ship them here. It takes a while and I could run out. They are expensive though and I worry about running out for a week or two. So, I just tapered off them.  They do help me sleep.

Homeless Child Sleeping On Street

Homeless Child sleeping on the streets of Cebu City

I don’t sleep well, it’s usually three or four in the morning before I get to sleep. I wake up a couple of hours later but can usually get back to sleep.  Sometimes I can’t and I take more melatonin and then feel brain dead for the day when I do get up around 2pm. 

Now I need to renew my passport and the American Counselor’s office is only open in the early morning. I might have to stay up all night to go.

That’s another issue, my doctor is in the office from about 11am to 1pm. making it very hard for me to see him. I need a physical but that’s not possible with the state of my finances.

However, I’m sleeping a lot better than this homeless child.

I no longer have the money or the health to travel. For a while, I was doing much better. I started taking vitamin C and that helped keep the infections away but it is no longer working.

It’s not my purpose to complain, but I do want people to know what life is like for me after nine years in the Philippines. If I had better health and only a little more money, I’d be doing a lot better.

I have one thing going for me and that is Jessie. She’s really all I have and I’m very lucky to have her. I’d much rather

Child in Custom During Sinulog

Child dressed as as Santo Nino

be here. I have a son and daughter in the USA but I didn’t see them much when I lived there so there is no reason to think that would change. Now if I dwelled on all of this, I could get depressed and writing about it is doing that a little bit but it’s just temporary. I’m mostly happy but I would be a lot happier if I just felt better.

A couple of months ago, if I stopped taking antibiotics, I felt horrible.  I finally figured out my blood sugar was way too high. An infection is a vicious cycle for a diabetic. The infection makes the diabetes worse and the diabetes makes the infection worse. I increased my insulin substantially for a couple of weeks and that seemed to do the trick.  This was back in December and January.  I am feeling a lot better now. But that episode lasted so long that I wondered if I was going to get better.

I still love taking pictures but rarely go anywhere to take them anymore. I really miss Bantayan Island. A trip to Palawan seems impossible. I wanted to take Jessie’s kids to a water park and other places in Manila. That all seems so far away now.  It was something I planned to do but then Google struck my websites and there is little money to be made there now.

Child Playing in Downtown Cebu

Child climbing in Downtown Cebu City.

I’ve had some bouts of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from playing Clash of Clans way too much.  It kind of amuses me but it’s not fun when my arm hurts from my thumb up to my shoulder. Nobody to blame but myself.

So that’s how I am doing. I do have a few more things I can write about but I’ll have to check my notes to recall what they are, ha ha. My memory is pretty bad too. Don’t think I’m getting senile yet and I hope it’s not coming. Honestly, that is the last thing I need especially here. I hope I can get to the doctor soon and see if he can give me some of those super strong, you should be in the hospital to take these, antibiotics. I could get them but they are really strong and can be dangerous so I don’t get them.

It may not sound like it but I am mostly happy. I will try to write here more often. I worry Jessie is bored out of her mind and will go back to Tacloban. I might work on a personal blog too and that will be more about me. There are some family issues on my mind but I just don’t know if I want to get the people on the internet any more ammunition to take shots at me. I can blow them off and will so I am likely to do what I wish and not worry about them. Honestly, the hate within the human races baffles me. We don’t have to live this way. We could choose to be more loving, to respond to every situation with love and the world would be an immeasurably better place for all of us. So why don’t we do it?  That’s one thing I will write about on my “me” blog if I ever get to it.

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