Men beating women really disgust me and I just saw it happen. Unfortunately, it seems acceptable within Filipino culture to a point. I cannot step in to defend her, I can barely breathe and taking a shower causes me extreme pain in my back. I do not talk about how bad my health is in detail but this time it is called for. He hit her a couple of times, maybe if he had been beating her badly I would have had to do something more. I do not know if I could stand there and watch it. Someone will stay say I should have jumped in. You are free to think so, free to be critical and I will consider you to be an insensitive moron. It also just would not be smart. Chances are high, I would probably be the one to end up in jail until I paid they guy off. The girl might lie for him as she is under his control. One of the reasons I got a gun permit when I lived in the USA was for that very reason. I would not last ten seconds in a fight. My heart is enlarged and my lungs are scared from Mixed Connective Tissue disease. I am not what this article is about though, just trying to anticipate what some might have to say. If I could carry a gun here, you can bet I would have drawn that on him to convince him to stop hitting her. That too probably would have escalated since he sleeps on the sidewalk just around the corner. It is best I did not have that option. Men that hit women usually have serious self esteem issues and feel they have no control over their lives.

This time it was a couple of Filipino wimps that think they are men. If the only way for you get what you want out of life is with using your fist on a woman, you are no man. I am not sure if you are fully human. I know that you are a weak coward that does not know how to deal with the stress of life and especially the free will of someone physically weaker than you.

Beating a Filipina on the Sidewalk

I was next door, getting a couple of Hungarian sausages for my dinner at 1 AM. I once again find myself solidly in my vampire mode. It will end and I will get back to sleeping during the day for a little while. My schedule is like the weather in many parts of the world. If you don’t like it this morning, do not worry it may change by this afternoon.

As I was ordering, the cook stopped what he was doing and was looking behind me. I turned and one of the guys that has bugged me many times offeringFilipina Downtown Cebu City me a woman if I paid him was dragging a very tiny Filipina. She was resisting and he hit her once. He probably did before I turned around but she stopped resisting.

She appears to live in the “boarding house” next to the hotel where I stay. I sure wish it was not there as there are many men offering that next door. And many women that will be your “guest” if you paid them.

A few minutes later, I looked up the street toward that boarding house and there was another man having harsh words with the young woman. She might be 20 years old but it is hard to say. She probably is and is very tiny. She has a bad attitude as do most of the women that frequent or live at this location. I would not want anything to do with her because of her attitude. Oh she is pretty enough but she seems to really be mad at the world. I guess I can understand why. I do not have a picture of her, she is not the friendliest person around.

The guy had a pot of water and after a few heated words he poured it on her. It did appear to be hot so I guess this is his way of humiliating her. I do not know. He left after doing that. Clearly he was angry. This was not the same guy that hit her. I believe it was his girlfriend. Soon she was in tears but was being left alone. I planned to talk to her once I received my food order but the unknown guy was back talking to here. He had another pail of water in his hand, holding it in front of her face but pleading with her saying “Please.”

Since I knew that would be a poor time for both her best interest and my own, I just walked on by and returned to my room. I looked around for a police person but there was none and the abuse seemed to have stopped. At least the hitting of her had stopped.

I went out again a little later just to look around and see if all was calm and I noticed the spot where she had curled up to cry on the sidewalk was now soaking wet but everyone is gone. I do not know what I would have said to her, only that “I am sorry she has to deal with that.”  She doe speak English and I thinks he tried to have me hire her once for a “massage.” I told her I was looking for a girlfriend and would not pay a girl to be with me. That did not seem to interest her at all. The hotel guard actually introduced us or it is unlikely I would have made even that much effort.

Blame the Victim: She Made Her Own Bed?

You know, I would have to agree with that to some extent but it does not stop me from caring and I do not think it should stop you from wishing her a better life. Yes, she should have seen it coming but it is not her fault. There are consequences for our choices though that seems like I am stating the obvious I know too many people that run around oblivious to their own mistakes. Instead, they will blame others and come up with great logic to do so. I even know people that lie to themselves and believe their lies. Sometimes these folks run afoul of the law.

Filipina with ExpatOn the other hand, I have no idea of this woman’s history. How long has she been on her own? Did she watch her mother or other caregivers do this when she was a child? If so, it might seem completely normal to her. Personally, I do not think choosing this way to support yourself is inherently wrong but most women end up abused with low self-esteem and a bad attitude. How long can one do this?

There is another woman that I see every day in the same line of work. She was here doing it when I came after Typhoon Yolanda (Haiyan) slammed into my home about a year ago. She is a bit older but in middle to late twenties I would guess. She looked good a year ago. Now, I would barely be interested at all even if she worked in a different profession. The only thing I see wrong with it is how most women seem to end up after doing this for a short time. I know several women that worked in a bikini bar in Angeles City as friends. After a year, none of them were worth even talking too. They may have always been that way but were able to present lies as the truth early on. After a year, I could see they could not tell me the truth about anything. They would lie to me when the truth would be a better answer. I had an ex-wife like that too though and no way would she do that.  At least she would not call it that.

What Did I Feel when I Watched Him Beat Her?

I wanted to grab the piece of crap and ram his head into the wall. I wanted to help but too afraid to do offer any.  Unable to ram his head into the wall and that is probably a good thing because I do see the consequences of my action usually long before I do it. I am certain that I would end up being the one in trouble. This man is one I mentioned on FaceBook not long ago. He angered me because as I was walking out of the store next door, he held his hand out for my change. It angered me because I know what he does for a living. Probably I should give more than he ask. That is what I believe but of course I cannot behave that way. I wish such behavior did not anger me but it does. I do not mind kids asking for money or moms asking for money. I do not like it when a guy that sells a woman’s time ask me for money. I am just not that good. From now on, he will get a much less tolerant version of me. I am supposed to love him but I wish any man that feels the need to control women by hitting them would just give up and end his miserable life. We need to get those genes out of the population.

Have I ever wanted to hit a woman? Yes, there were three times when I wanted too. Four times if we I include my sister after puberty haha. I think that isPretty Filipina Cebu City normal. Most of us probably get angry and frustrated enough to do feel that way. I know I am so glad I did not do it even when I was so angry I was having trouble maintaining control. I go really close a couple of times. I laugh at myself now but only because I did not do it. We men, even sick are far too strong to hit a woman. We can hurt them badly.

You have gained nothing in my opinion by forcing compliance with your wishes by beating someone into submission. The way I see it is the only thing a woman or anyone else can give me of value is their “Yes.” That is, their agreement to do what I want or to be my friend or lover.

I do have my limitations on that though, if someone is trying to take my life or that of someone else then everything changes. Then I would hit her, shoot her or anything else I could do to stop it. With my current physical state, I would rather shoot if I had to act immediately. Since I live in the Philippines, I cannot carry a gun so the only thing I could do would be to call the police. When a man or woman hits their spouse here the police generally will not get involved. They will refer you to the barangay chief which is like a county supervisor in the USA. They are under the control of the city but that is the closest thing I can come up with to describe them. Based on a very old tribal system that once made up the Philippines. Barangay chiefs due hold some real power but they do not have a lot of funds so there is not a lot they can do. It is my perception that corruption is also very bad at this level of government.  You also need to understand that in the Philippines the family rules. The more rural you get the more the family is in control. I have even seen murder cases were the authorities defer to the family. If the family does not press charges, nothing is done. That is not the normal way but I have seen it reported that way in the press here. I would not count on that getting you out of trouble in Cebu City, Manila or any other city in the Philippines.

Awesome Woman Helping Expat In the PhilippinesThis is not an attack on Filipinos. I have written about too many foreigners abusing women here before. I wish you would just leave or go play in a cobra pit if you cannot stop doing it. I understand you might not be able to stop and I really do not hate you, I just want you to stop. Do whatever you need to do that to stop.

Please share your thoughts in the comments below and if you have any experience with this kind of thing then please share them. Be careful with your wording. I have to be mindful of advertiser’s requirements. That is why I choose my words very carefully when I write about such matters. If you find this useful please share it on Facebook, Google Plus, Twitter and other social media networks as it really provides a nice boost for the site.

None of the pictures in this article are the girl in question. I have tried to take her picture in the past but like I said, she has a bad attitude and refused me. It is quite likely there are people that do not know where she is or how she is supporting herself and very likely her husband or partner. However, most are of women that live in this area.

By Rusty Ferguson

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