Old men and young women in the Philippines is a controversial topic. It isn’t a big deal for most Filipinos but in Western culture it drives some to passing judgment. I am a bit amused by the judgments and sometimes a bit hack off by them. Honestly, I don’t like it when people judge others. I don’t care if it is me or someone I don’t know. I will usually rise to the defense of the person being judged. It is just my nature. I think I like that about me. The age difference between old men and young women in the Philippines isn’t as big of an issue for couples as some seem to think.
The problem is that this is not a Western culture. This is an Asian culture. Priorities here are very different than those of the West. I generally don’t say one way is better than the other. I just say it is different. For Filipinos, Asian culture is best. For Westerners then Western culture is best. I do think when it comes to what is important in life, Filipino culture has it right.
Old Men and Young Women Together in the Philippines
The other day, someone left a comment on YouTube saying that the judgmentalism around this subject was racism. He went on to talk of how it is common in the Philippines for Filipinos to marry younger women. He also told us that Filipinos don’t complain when it is two Filipinos. He is correct, it is common and generally not looked down on. The problem is that I’ve never heard any Filipino that lives here have an issue with it. For the most part, only Westerners do and I’m including those that have lived all of their lives in the West. Young males of Filipino decent in the USA are the worst. They attack me in droves. I think they believe they are protecting Filipino pride. The problem is, they don’t have a clue what Filipino culture is like.
Jessie is twenty years younger than me but I don’t see any age difference issues at all. Sometimes our cultures are vastly different. She accepts mine and tries to hide hers from me. The age difference though just isn’t an issue. I don’t even consider her to be younger than I am. It never comes up. It just doesn’t matter at all to us. My health is an issue but my health is more like 70 than 54. The first time I wrote on this topic, I was surprised to find out people were thinking I was talking about Jessie and I. She doesn’t seem younger than me, well except for her exceptional good looks.
The number one complaint I hear is something like “She doesn’t love you; she’s just after your money.” Sometimes that is 100 percent true. So what? It is their relationship, not mine. Sometimes, you see very old men with women in the twenties. If she’s in it for the money do you think he doesn’t know that? His wife probably died and he wanted to have some fun. Why does anyone have a problem with that?
It is very easy to tell when a woman is in it for the money. There is almost a neon light flashing above their heads that reads “I’m looking for money.” Does that mean both can’t be happy with their choices? Of course not, they might be very happy. What else matters?
A more valid concern is the one that goes something like this “What about when he dies and leaves her alone. She will have no income then.” Folks, you don’t know what kind of arrangements have been made in that relationship to take care of those situations. There is another issue though, again, so what? Is she going to be better off marrying a Filipino closer to her age? Is she going to be better off with a guy working for P100 a day? I don’t’ think so. Maybe he makes p1000 a day. That’s high pay for most in the Philippines. Is that going to leave her in a much better position? No it is not. Think about the alternatives she has. What is going to be better for her? The biggest problem though with this concern is you simply don’t now what arragnments have been made for her future.
I made this video about a year ago. Trying to push myself to do things I’m not good at. Sometimes, video tells the story better than words. I know I need a lot of improvement. I think my videos are better if I don’t talk. There just isn’t a lot of excitement in my voice. I do intend to keep trying as I want to get better at this. It takes so much time though and that’s a big problem. The old men and young women in the Philippines have seen quite a lot of interest on YouTube.
Some of the criticism is pure jealousy and it is easy to spot. There are those that don’t like it but can’t tell you why. In those cases, perhaps the person sitting in judgment should think about that deeply. Or their reason is “It isn’t right?” Again, they can’t tell me why it isn’t right. Those kinds of objections suggest that additional thinking is required. However, I won’t try to deprive anyone their judgments, even those without merit. And some gather their opinions about the Philippines after they visit the bikini bars. It is hard to be more of a hypocrite than that and even harder to draw any meaningful conclusions about the rest of the Philippines.
Again, Why Do You Care?
I think we all would be better served if we saved our judgments for those that are harming others by forcing them to do things they do not want to do. Like those men that beat their wife or girlfriends. In general, save it for those harmful people. Let people choose their own way. When we don’t do that, I’m reminded of an Alice Cooper song “I just wanna be God.”
I know young women, some in their early twenties in the Philippines that are good to talk with. Most though below the age of 23 are hard to hold much of a conversation with. Filipina that are this young often don’t have a lot of experience with men. Many have never had a boyfriend. They usually refer to them as boys still.
Dating in high school here is not as common as it is in the West. Most of the girls wouldn’t be allowed to do that. It seems the proper age for most Filipina to date is 18. I’m sure that it is a lot different in some limited places in the Philippines. I’m talking about the majority of the Philippines and of course there are exceptions. Usually by the time a Filipina reaches her mid twenties, she is far more mature than her Western counterpart.
Of course, you are free to judge all those you want but don’t expect me to think highly of it. Honestly, I find it to often be narcissistic. It seems many cannot accept that others think and feel differently than they do and that what is best for them is not best for everyone.
I really want your thoughts of on this. Maybe I’m the one that hasn’t thought this through. Since I am a thinker, I doubt it but I could be mistaken. Maybe you can explain it to me. You can try? And for those that are in a relationship with a Filipina 20 years younger than you, how did it go? Let me know in the comments.
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Filed under: Filipino Culture
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